Krystyna's Boring Life in Print

I've been a little remiss in blogging lately, but the last 10 days have been rough. My Oncologist likes to use the analogy of "Your first Chemo is like your wedding night, you don't know what to expect", if that's the case, my Honeymoon is over! I prefer "Life is like a box of chocolates..." only my entire box consists of chocolate covered cherries, which I hate!!

Over the last 10 days I've experienced weakness, cold sweats, light-headedness, accelerated heart rate, chest pain and even memory loss. We bought our house almost 3 years ago and I can't remember which switch is for the lights and which is the garbage disposal. No one told me I'd have to buy more silverware after Chemo! My husband is painting the Disposal Switch red, so I know not too touch! Talk about feeling like a 10 year old!

I had a Chest CT that showed a small blood clot at the end of my catheter so my Coumadin dosage is being increased to 2mg QD. The Muga showed no heart damage. We think maybe I was just over tired. I hate that I'm nauseas from about 1 hour after I wake up until I go to sleep. Everything I put in my mouth lately seems to make me more queasy. I think the only reason the anti-nausea medicine works is because it puts me to sleep for the next 15 hours so I don't notice I'm nauseas. One good thing about the sleep is that I don't notice how depressed I've gotten the last week. I'm starting to feel a little better, but I'm not near my usual Mary Poppin's, perky self.

I'm hoping that this just a temporary set back and my body will recoup with some extra rest. If this is how I'm going to be for the last half of my treatment, I have no idea if I'll be able to keep working. My boss says yes, but I feel guilty going to work and not giving at least 100%.

Well I definately got a reality check this weekend! On Friday I went for my post-chemo injection. Jerry's been working nights so I haven't seen him much without tubes protruding out of my chest, so we spent the day together for the first time in a few weeks. We did a little shopping and for the first time in our marriage bought something totally frivolous and impractical. Maybe it was the chemo brain affecting my judgment, but we threw logic to the wind and picked up a projection TV. It will take us until the end of next year to pay off, but we don't go out much and other than the mortgage, we have no debt so we figure what the hell. The TV was being delivered but we brought the stand home to assemble ahead of time. I was helping Jerry carry it in (it wasn't really heavy) and before I even picked it up my heart started to pound so hard I though it was going to explode in my chest. Then I got lightheaded and dizzy and almost passed out. I can't even really describe what it felt like, only that I never want to feel like that again. I've never felt such fatigue so suddenly in my life. It really freaked us both out.

Well it's chemo time again. I seem to be handling the treatments much better than before. I guess my body is adjusting to the poison. I even managed to go out with my work buddies for an evening out for a going away party. Here is a picture of me and one of the nuttiest people in the office Lani.