Krystyna's Boring Life in Print

Female Dictionary

2007-07-20T13:51:00.000-05:00

FEMALE DICTIONARY - Words Women Use

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine (see #1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just
say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying "%@&* YOU!"

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong" - for the woman's response refer to #3.

Girls Night Out (Sounds Too Familiar)

2007-07-20T13:44:00.000-05:00

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight" He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. SHIT", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

June 4 @ 10 EST/9 CST

2007-05-23T15:44:00.000-05:00

Well it's finally here! Set your Tivo's. My little bro, Kenneth HArrison, will be on the Food Network show "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" with Guy Frieri on June 4. Everyone tune in so he gets great ratings! Guy has offered him a job at one of his restaurants in California or to help him get on with the Food Network in New York. Yeah!!!

Geesh, I hope he remembers us little people when he becomes famous!

Girls Just Want to Have Fun!!!

2007-05-21T15:47:00.000-05:00

Well, got back yesterday from a girls weekend in Port Aransas! We were celebrating the 50th birthday of our friend Patti (the fisherwomen and cute little blonde in Spurs photo) Lots of fun was had by all. GO SPURS GO! Of course stupid me forgot to put sunscreen on my arms, so after 5 hours on the beach and boogie boarding, I am now LOBSTER GIRL! Oh well small price to pay for vegging with the girls at the coast and making new friends.

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives

2007-04-18T11:18:00.000-05:00

Well the time has almost come. A new show is premiering on the Food Network on April 23 at 10 EST/9 CST (PM). My brother will not be on the show that day but will hopefully be on the following Monday or soon after. I am setting my TIVO so I don't miss him.

The show is hosted by Guy Fieri, he won on some other Food Network Reality Show.

WooHoo!

From the Kennebec Journal, Wednesday, April 11, 2007

"Harrison will cook with the show host and prepare three signature dishes: black tea-steamed salmon, mojito glazed duck breast and Greek beef roulade.

Harrison described the last dish: "It's flattened flank stuffed with spinach, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers and feta cheese," he said. "These are things that I personally liked and have served well."

Gun Salute Question posed by Uncle Larry

2007-04-04T13:50:00.000-05:00

Grandpa Lineberry passed away this past week and received a military funeral. After the services, Jerry's Uncle Larry posed the question, "What is the difference between a 21 gun salute and the funeral salute?". Nobody knew the answer (including a not to be named Naval Officer:-), so I decided to look it up and post the answer:

21 Gun SaluteToday the national salute of 21 guns is fired in honor of a national flag, the sovereign or chief of state of a foreign nation, a member of a reigning royal family, and the President, ex-President and President-elect of the United States. It is also fired at noon of the day of the funeral of a President, ex-President, or President-elect.

3 Volley Salute
The 3-volley salute is a salute performed at military and police funerals as part of the drill and ceremony of the Honor Guard.

A rifle party, usually consisting of an odd number of firers, usually from 3 to 7 firearms. Usually the firearms are rifles for military, but at some police funerals, shotguns are used. The firing party is positioned such that, when they shoulder their arms for firing, the muzzles are pointed over the casket of the deceased who is being honored. If the service is being performed inside a church or chapel, or funeral home, the firing party fires from outside the building, typically positioned near the front entrance.

On the command of the NCO-in-charge, the firing party fires their weapons in unison, for a total of three volleys. Because unbulleted blanks (which will not cycle the action of a semi-automatic rifle) are used, in the United States, M1 or M14 rifles are preferred over the current issue M16 rifle, because the charging handles of the M1/M14 are more easily operated in a dignified, ceremonial manner than on the M16.

The three-volley salute is not to be confused with the 21-gun salute (or even lesser gun salutes, such as 19-gun or 17-gun, etc) which use cannon.

You go Baby Bro!!

2007-04-03T13:50:00.000-05:00

Well, the first show that my brother did filming for was a pilot that wasn't picked up, but...

Yeah!! Now he is filming a segment for the Food Network. He starts filming on April 10 (my b-day) and wraps shooting on April 13 (his b-day). Happy Birthday to us! I couldn't ask for a better present than seeing my baby brother on the Food Network. He is the Chef at a historic diner on the Kennebec River in Gardiner, Maine. www.a1diner.com Stop in for a bite! He's also mentioned in their new book that has just been published and he is planning his own catering business.

I'll keep you posted on when his segment will air. I think it is going to be on a show that has Diner in the title, but I don't have any specifics yet.

Back to School...

2007-02-28T13:45:00.000-06:00

Well I went back to college and am currently enrolled in a Paralegal Studies program. After being out of achool for soooo many years, it was a little intimdating. So far it has gone very well. I made the Dean's list the first 2 terms and will receive an academic scholarship for the fourth term starting in May. I am currently in my 3rd term and it is a little on the difficult side. Gender and Society is a lot of fun, but Legal Research is a bit daunting. Citations are a headache!

Chemo Tips & Tricks....

2006-12-31T20:24:00.000-06:00

(I'm using a weird date on this post so it stays on top. To see recent posts, scroll down to next entry)

1. For mouth pain-Buy Biotene toothpaste and mouthwash (it’s made for dry mouth sufferers). Using these items helps the mouth pain and helps keep your mouth a little moister. Walgreen’s sells it.

2. For dry skin-Chemo dries out your body quite a bit. Switch to a moisturizing soap like Aveeno. Cetaphil lotion is non-irritating, non-greasy and quick absorbing (my dermatologist recommended these).

3. The Adriamycin pretty much guarantees hair loss. Mine started falling out on day 14 after my first treatment.

4. For nosebleeds-After about 5 treatments, my mucous starting getting a little bloody, especially in the morning. My Oncologist said to use a saline spray to moisten the nasal passages, but this didn’t work very well for me. I bought a case of the small kid size Gatorades and drank one a day. Problem solved.

5. If you get nauseated during a treatment, ask the nurse to slow down the drip. Adding 15 minutes to the drip really reduced the discomfort. They didn’t tell me this until about treatment #9.

6. For hip pain-If you’re white cells drop and you have to get Neupogen shots, they can cause a great deal of discomfort. My hips and legs hurt so bad after the shots, Vicodin wouldn’t help. I know this sounds weird, but take an anti-histamine. The pain is caused by a histamine reaction and most of your white cells are produced in your hip region. One Zyrtec later, everything was fine.

7. If you don’t have it already, ask for Lidocaine Cream. Apply to your port area 2-3 hours before chemo and cover with Saran Wrap to allow better absorption without messing up your clothes. This numbs the injection site.

8. For the ladies-Especially if you're amply endowed. Before having your port inserted, invest in a sports bra. The weight of your breast can cause the scar to widen because of the pulling during the healing process. I learned this the hard way. When I had my port removed, I explained this to the surgeon and he cut the scar tissue away so I could start with a fresh wound. He found it amusing, but said he had never thought of that (he looked about 20 years old). I explained to him that he only sees us lying down and wouldn't realize they were D cups when they spread out.:-)

9. If you gain >15% of your body weight and are not having difficulty with nausea, ask your doctor to decrease your Decadron a little.

If you have any tips and tricks to share, I'd love to hear them and add them to the list. Click on the comments link below and submit them. Please let me know if you found these tips helpful.

Not much goin on

2006-11-11T22:59:00.000-06:00

Not much happening. Finishing mid-terms, working on my second degree. Just wanted to post a picture of my bro on halloween with his sassy, squeeze Jen since I don't believe he has made an appearance on our website yet. Aren't they adorable!

We are working on a total website redesign to hopefully have up by New Year's, so check back then. In the meantime, have a great holiday season. Jerry and I will be enjoying a TurDucHen this Thanksgiving. Thought we'd try something new since it's just the 2 of us.

Well break times over, time to get back to "Providing Cost-Effective Legal Services Utilizing the Paralegal", sounds thrilling doesn't it? Don't worry, I won't put anyone to sleep by posting my paper on our site>;-)

Baby Bro Braggin'

2006-09-25T15:11:00.000-05:00

Hello everybody. I know I haven't posted in quite sometime, but life happens. I went back to college for a degree in Paralegal Studies and have been busy at work with Hearings. Jerry and I are doing great other than just being busy, busy, busy (mainly with work).

Well on to the point of this post. I just have to brag about my baby brother. Well, he's 28, not exactly a baby. In the last couple of months he has prepared dinner for the Governor's wife as a "Spotlighted Chef" at a monthly dinner she hosts, he has filmed a pilot show for the Food Network, has been profiled in a new book and has been approached about filming another show on the Food Network. WOW!! We are all so proud of him and wish him all the best. We just hope he remembers us when he's rich and famous (Bobby Flay, Look Out)!

Sue You!!

2006-09-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

Well I have gone back to school for a degree in Paralegal Studies, more parchment for the office walls. It's pretty exciting thus far, but a little nerve racking as well. I mean, I couldn't pass Algebra in High School, now I have to take it on a College level, any braniacs wanna make a few bucks? lol-Just Kidding.

My only concern is dealing with the requirements on the weeks when I'm feeling especially run down. I still feel really drained sometimes and come home from work, crawl into bed by 7 PM and then sleep THROUGH Saturday almost completely (getting up anytime between 3-7 PM). Hopefully I develop some new coping mechanisms.

Smart Aleck Husband Fatally Wounded

2006-08-16T21:51:00.000-05:00

A husband found himself in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife angrily told him, "Tomorrow there better be something for me in the driveway that goes from zero to 200 in five seconds flat."

The next morning, the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Visiting hours for the husband at the hospital are limited due to the extent of the injuries.

Wife School

2006-05-12T12:55:00.000-05:00

My boss sent me this and I thought it was funny:

Wife_School.wmv

I've also always enjoyed the classic "Man Song"

The Man Song

BUZZ-kill!!!

2006-05-05T22:30:00.000-05:00

Geesh! When it rains it pours! I've been sick since we were in Nashville, it hailed the size of golf balls yesterday and we haven't assessed the damage yet and to top it off tomorrow we have to have the front wall of our house removed to remove a colony of possibly Africanized Honey Bees that decided our house looked really cozy and decided to make themselves at home.

Hopefully nothing else will go wrong anytime soon!

Pepe Le P-EEEWWW!

2006-04-29T22:23:00.000-05:00

Well when we were off living it up in Nashville one of our kids got the bright idea of wrestling a skunk. We got home and the entire house smelled like crazy. They totally reeked up the couch in the formal living room. We had to use an entire bottle of Febreeze and air out the house for three days straight with fans to circulate the air better befor the funk was finally gone.

The strange thing is that none of the kids smelled like a skunk so we can only assume that they chased one into the house but didn't succeed in catching him.

Boot Scootin Boogie

2006-04-23T21:39:00.000-05:00

Well this month we're off to Nashville. My mom was there for a conference and we hadn't seen her in 6 years so we decided to fly up there. At this point I hadn't come up with the idea of surprising Jerry with the trip to Vegas for our anniversary yet.

Nashville was pretty nice. Very green and scenic. We stayed at the Opryland Hotel which is beyond massive. Depending on which side of the hotel your room is on it is a .25 to .5 mile walk from the paarking lot to your room. The hotel itself is pretty nice and you never have to leave with all of the restaurants and shops, but I definately would recomend to anyone with a disability to stay somewhere else. It wasn't very handicap accessible and navigating a wheelchair would be next to impossible! They don't even often a shuttle service to the parking lot or around the exterior of the hotel to the different wings. Valet parking is the parking closest to the hotel but it costs $18.00 per day before tip. Yikes!

If you are ever at the Opryland resort and Conference Center stop into Findley's Pub and see James Pendergrast-The Boys of County Nashville. They are a great Irish Folk Band. Pick up their CD while you're there, there is a great mix of Irish Folk Music and not the common stuff everyone always plays.

We ate at the Aquarium which was cool. It's like you're eating underwater. I took alot of pictures. Our favorite fish is the picture of the one that looks like he has a white stripe on his back at the base of his fin. He tilts from side to side as he swims and looks like he'll tip over. We call him the Drunken Fish. They also had a tank in the mall were you could feed Stingrays. It smelled kind of bad, but it was pretty neat having them eating out of your hand.

Looks Like We Made It....

2006-03-20T20:45:00.000-06:00

YIPPEEE!!! Well after 30 long years, I finally got to see the "Sex God" live. We finally "Made It Through The Rain" to sunny Las Vegas to see BARRY! Yes, I mean Barry Manilow. Absolutely awesome!!! Jerry doesn't even care for Barry that much but he was shaking his tushie at the Copacabana. It took 5 years of trying to get to Vegas without something coming up, but it was definately worth it to be there the same time as Barry. It was the best show EVER!! It was a great first post-chemo weekend getaway. We're already hoping to go back and see him again.

As if seeing Barry for our Anniversary on St Patrick's day wasn't cool enough, we also went to the Bellagio's art exhibit and amongst other reknowned artist, we were able to see 2 of Van Gogh's paintings up close and personal. Being able to see his use of color and massive use of paint in his strokes was amazing!

Gobble, Gobble!!

2005-11-24T23:24:00.000-06:00

Since Jerry's brother finished OCS and moved the girls and mom out to Pensacola, we decided there was no sense in doing Thanksgiving for just the 2 of us, so we slept until 3:00!

I started a new job working for the CFO of the San Antonio Housing Authority on November 7. We're getting ready to start a new project for FEMA to find housing for the remaining Katrina Evacuees in San Antonio, about 2,000 families still in shelters. It sounds like we're going to get pretty busy in order to meet the January 7 deadline.

It's been awhile!!!

2005-10-21T15:05:00.000-05:00

I haven't updated in a while, but everything is great. Have been working pretty hard over the last few months at work and other projects around the house. I just completed a 2 year employment contract with Titan Ins and am now looking for my next working adventure. I am looking forward to learning some new things.

Jerry is doing great. He transferred to a field position so he has a case load now, but he is home nights and weekends for the first time ever since we've known each other. It took some getting used too seeing each other all the time, but it has worked out pretty good.

Overall we can't really complain.

Grossly Negative...

2005-05-21T10:58:00.000-05:00

My rost recent PET Scan has come back Grossly Negative (don't you love that in every arena other than Medicine negative is bad, but in Medicine you always want to be Negative). One thing I learned from my PET Scan is that my Ureter isn't in the right place. Instead of coming straight down, mine verves off on the left and takes a little road trip. Nothing big, just a curious side note. The only thing going on is that my Liver hasn't returned to normal like it should. My levels have come down since my Jaundice last June that led to them finding the Hodgkin's. Jaundice isn't usually associated with Hodgkin's so the 2 events really fall into the lucky coincidence category. Over the last few years, my PCP (a brilliant Dr named Denoia, who is retiring from practice to go into research unfortunately) has run so many Liver tests on me because my levels were always going up and down. So now Dr. Guzley says if they haven't gone down more on my next visit, June 30, I'll have to go see a GI Specialist. Sometimes you just want to say, Geesh!, haven't I been through enough.

On a more joyous note. 2 of my brothers have been accepted to College and will be starting this fall. Congrat's!!

One really big plus is that my energy levels have been higher than they have in the past 8 years. I go to work (full time hours now) and have been coming home and doing landscaping. This past week I've spent about 15 hours after work working in the yard, in the atrium and on the roof. I know, your thinking what in the world are you landscaping on the roof? Our house is shaped like a square dounut. In the center is an Atrium and in the Atrium is Creeping Fig vine. It has grown out of control and since the Atrium is two stories tall, the only way to trim it back is to attack from above.

We're building a deck in the Atrium to replace the rock garden that was in there. I moved all the rocks out, one bucket at a time (the Atrium is 11 ft by 11 ft with the rocks about 2-4 inches deep, so it was over a ton of rock). Now we're trying to take all the vine down from the four walls and over the windows to start from scratch. We're really excited about the deck. It's going to be diamond shaped and stained to match the natural wood trim around the windows and doors. We're saving up to replace the sliding doors with French Doors so it will be really nice when it's done. We already have the Chiminea (outdoor fireplace).

At the same time we are moving another rock garden in the back. The previous owners LOVED their rock gardens. This one is about 30 feet long and goes on a diagonal stretching from 2 feet on one end and out to 15 feet on the other. My brother was supposed to help when he was here, but he's a teenager and lazy. I did get the twins to help. They were so cute with their little gardening gloves and beach pails (they're 3 1/2) moving buckets of rock. They did 10 buckets full before they realized it wasn't any fun helping Aunt Tina. We're about 1/3 of the way done and next week we're having a rock moving party with my neighbors (they volunteered). When it's all done we are going to plant Monkey Grass and Dwarf petunias because they are Xeroscaping plants and in San Antonio it gets very dry. The rocks are just too much maintenance. When they laid the rock they used plastic plant block and it's all deteriorated now so the weeds come up through the rock like crazy.

Well I know this has been a long entry, but I've been pretty busy. On a sad note. My Mother-in-Law and the twins are moving to Florida in June. We will be very sad to see them go, but Jeff is graduating from OCS (Navy Officer, he's going to be a Navigator like Goose in Top Gun) in July and that's where he'll be.

Greetings!

2005-05-02T19:39:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know I'm doing great! Here are some pics we took yesterday. Yes, I have some hair!

Pics of Me & Bonnie, Jerry and Courtney

Surgery is Over!!

2005-03-28T21:53:00.000-06:00

I had my Port-a-Cath taken out today. A lot of people asked me what the port under my skin in the pictures from last July/August looked like. Well, some people may think it's a little sick, but I kept it after it was removed this morning (don't worry it's been cleaned and sterilized). It was attached to my chest wall and had a tube attached that ran into my Subclavian vein to feed into the Superior Vena Cava. I just took a picture of the top view, but it is about 1/2 inch thick.

Below is a website that explains the Port-a-Cath

http://www.breastcancer.org/tre_sys_chemo_ports.html

It really is a simple procedure. I was awake when they inserted it (kinda). I was out cold for the removal.

Happy Easter!

2005-03-27T12:35:00.000-06:00

This has certalinly been an interesting week. Out of the blue I got an Email from one of my 2 best friends from Junior High! We ended up talking for about 2 hours on the phone. I don't think I've spent that much time on the phone with a friend since High School. This led to an Email from my other best friend from Junior High. I've bumped into Laura a couple of times around town over the last decade, but her Husband and I never got along, so we didn't really talk. Lisa I hadn't seen or talked to in 15-16 years. It was definately weird going through old memories that I hadn't thought of in years, but it was way cool (for lack of a better description).

Here's a picture of the 3 trouble makers together. Somehow, we always got in trouble together, even when we weren't doing anything.

Lisa Laura Me

Monday morning I have my final surgery to remove my Medi-Port and stop taking Coumadin, then I will be as back to normal as possible. Yipee!!

We're just having a ham dinner at the house with my Mother-In-Law and Grandmother today. The twins are at their Mother's until later this evening. Hope everyone has a great Easter!!

This is the week

2005-03-22T15:17:00.000-06:00

I go for my first post-cancer follow up visit with my Hematologist on Thursday. Hopefully he'll say it is OK to have my final procedure, surgery to remove my Medi-Port, and I'll be able to go off Coumadin. It's the only med I'm still taking. If he clears me I'll be able to go to the gym and drop all the extra pounds the steroids made me gain. From the 50 I initially lost before Cancer, the steroids put 20 back on. I suppose it could have been worse, but I'm looking forward to getting at least back to where I was when I started Chemo. Of course I was still trying to lose 15 pounds when Chemo started. Figures I'd fall into the Cancer group that gains weight with their drugs instead of loosing it.

Thanks to everyone for all your phone calls and emails of support. I'll let you know what happens after I see my Doc on Thursday.